I could have missed the pain...but I would have had to miss the dance."
Garth Brooks

So I meet a girl Cindy Anderson through ole pal Dave.  I am very attracted to her.
Beautiful blond and can I tell she likes to have fun.  We never kissed and I was with
that desire.  One party she brings over Tammy Anderson her twin sister.   Tammy
has a date with her.  We talk a little and I think, wow beautiful twins.   Some days later
I am at the house in Beverly Hills with a girl I had had a date every week or ten days
with, she worked for Disney, and would come over and we would set in front of the
fire place and drink wine till we were drunk, kissing then make love, she would
stay the night, get up early and I would drive down the hill with her to get a paper
and pick up a cup of hot coffee from Hamburger Hamlet then walk back up the
trail to the house.

Tammy Anderson
There is a land of the 
living and a land of the 
dead, and the bridge is 

Thornton Wilder

Another time Tammy came to a party and stayed for three days.  We got to know
each other well, and she was a very exciting lady to me.  Loved the way she would
help get the place ready to have another party and our love making was very
exciting.  I must say that she is a genius in the kitchen.  We were both having alot
of time hanging out and she was part of the parties that I was having at the place.
We were spending much time together.  Time passes
There are as many nights as days,
and the one is just long as the
other in the year's course.  Even a
happy life cannot be without a
measure of darkness, and the word
"happy" would lose its meaning
if it were not balanced by sadness.
It is far better to take things as they
come along with patience and equanimity.
Carl Jung

My Daughter Desiree is walking down the road and in the background her God Father's
my lawyer, once upon a time friend, Phillip Rosen's porsh...sounds funny to say the word
friend and lawyer in the same sentence.

A surgeon, an architect an a lawyer are having a 
heated barroom discussion concerning which of 
their professions is actually the oldest profession.
The surgeon says: "Surgery IS the oldest pro-
fession. God took a rib from Adam to create Eve
and you can't go back further than that."
The architect says: "Hold on! In fact, God was 
the first architect when he created the world out 
of chaos in 7 days, and you can't go back any 
further than THAT!"  The lawyer puffs his cigar 
and says:  "Gentlemen, Gentlemen...
who do you think created the CHAOS??!!"

Living is a form of not being sure, not knowing what next
or how.  The moment you know how, you begin to die a little.  The artist never entirely knows.
We guess.  We may be wrong, but we take leap after leap in the dark.   Agnes de Mille

There was a week that was...September 2nd I have a birthday, around the time that
Tammy and I figure out that she is pregnant.  On 9/9/93 I get a phone call from my
sister that my stepfather has died and we have to hurry and get to Texas and take
care of the property.  My mother was killed a couple of years back by my stepfather,
so I was glad to hear that he was gone, I did not think that I even wanted to go to
the funeral and told my sister to get to Texas and start taking care of things and
that I would be there soon.

Tammy and I had some long talks and decided that we were going to have a child
together.  I started packing the house and rented a U-Haul truck and we headed to
Texas for the first steps of one what would be a saga of my life that is now ten years
later being written as a book and a movie...

Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That's why it's called the present!
Live and savor every moment, this is not a dress rehearsal!

Let's talk of graves, of worms and epitaphs;
Make dust of our paper, and with rainy eyes
write sorrow on the bosom of the earth.
Let's choose executors, and talk of wills.
William Shakespeare
Richard II  1595

We drive to Cleburne, Texas...

If Cleburne is Mayberry - Mayberry LSD, maybe - Johnson County is as close to Oz as you get, in Texas.
Still mostly rural with an inferiority complex about its place in the Metroplex, it collectively wants what
other North Texas counties have without giving  up what it's already got. Coming back to the city after
a visit there can be a little disorienting, like coming home after a trip to a  strange foreign land, peopled
by odd inhabitants with quirky qualities. Every stop - Burleson, Joshua, Godley, Alvarado, Venus, Rio
Vista, Keene - along this corridor to another dimension has its own brand of strangeness. Remember
the move to put gym shorts on Burleson High's anatomically correct elk statue?

From FW WEEKLY Jan 14-21, 1999
Written by PA Humphrey

Whiskey Flats

Wheatland, Texas coined "Whiskey Flats" in the '40s...little town between Fort
Worth and Cresson, Texas where two topless bars and some adult video stores
offer folks in the near by town of Godley, Texas and Cleburne a place to escape
their wives and hang with the white trailer trash...this place is right out of Jerry
Springer and not far from Waco.  Churches everywhere and sick men that have
sex with their own children...

Norma's Topless Dancers with a road sign right behind it that says
Thou God seest me.   Genesis  16:13

TRIAL OF A DEAD MAN  is about secret corporations and bankruptcy and Mafia
gangsters with connections to the Dallas, Texas mob, Las Vegas hit men and
cowboy mobster casino owners like Benny Binion.  It is about a small Texas Church
town and the evil business men that kill their wives.  It is about crooked small town
lawyers and accountants that swipe with their pens, Wills and Estate battles, and the
aftermath suffered by the children of a dead man, who's CPA and lawyers continue to
swindle them out of millions of dollars of their inheritance, even after he is dead...the
fraud was so real in part of the story that one wonders for awhile if Jack Standley is
in fact dead...

As Benford Standley begins to unravel and research out the Estate of his late step-
father, he discovers that the men who were lawyers hired to help him and his sister,
and the accountant, who is the Estate administrator are in fact in a conspiracy to
defraud them and steal millions of dollars from them.  After he learns of their con-
spiracy and fraud,  they trump up some charges against him and railroad the Grand
Jury in this small Texas town to indite him, and put a warrant for his arrest.  Benford
has to go on the run with  his wife and two children to hide from these men that want
to cause him harm and bring him to ruin or death.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes to jump on a trampoline!

The story is about men who sneak out at night from their families and go to the strip
bars outside of Fort Worth, Texas, and who bet tens of thousands of dollars during
the weekends with their bookies that are tied to the Mafia.  Men who molest their
own children, go to Church on Sundays, and play golf at their headquarters the local
county club where they go to get booze in their small dry community.  To quote a
article in the FW Weekly,

"But Cleburne--a city named after a Confederate Civil War general who, some out-
side historians believe, might have been involved in a love affair with one of his men--
is the most peculiar of them all. There are more characters per square foot than any
other American town that comes readily to mind. It is a town in which Republic of Texas
followers, a judge with a Pink Panther fetish, and a schizophrenic flying saucer
abductees all fit right in.  It's a place where dirty laundry is everybody's business, where
a quarter of the people are either in jail, about to be in jail or on probation,  where
black and Hispanic residents are presumed to be "content" to work for substandard
wages and live in shacks and even packing crates on the "other side" of the tracks,
seen but not heard."   Ft. Worth Weekly

Trial of a Dead Man is about corruption in a small Texas town outside of Waco, Texas.
A town where there is not one lawyer that will sue another lawyer,  not one...where all
the lawyers office next door to each other around the typical Texas town square, with
the Court House in the middle and a Church on every street corner.   All of the lawyers
and judges keep a blind's eye to each others wrong doing, and the legal corruption
goes unchecked.  The lawyers give the judges the money to get reelected and the
judges play the games and give the lawyers what they want while the citizens suffer.

After some years on the search for the truth and the fearful state of mind that began
to engulf the entire life and being of Benford and his family, while during the same
time his sister is seeing a psychiatrist in her home town.  Later Benford would be
diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome.  He will lose his family, major pro-
jects he has been working on will fall and he will go in hiding in the streets of Los
Angeles to hide from these men and his fears.

Q: What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A: The tick drops off after you're dead.

Cleburne, Texas in the middle of the bible belt...a town where you can not even buy
a beer, but they have to have curfews to keep their youth in line.  It is a place where
they say that if you want to kill someone and not get caught, do it in Cleburne.  The
malpractice of lawyers is covered up by the State Bar of Texas and the "good-old
boys" network that has existed there for many years.  As reported by several
attorneys that practice suing other attorneys, including one that practices with Jim
Mattox, who is past Attorney General for Texas...Cleburne has the reputation of
being one of the most corrupt legal systems in the entire State.

Jack V. Standley was at one time the youngest bank president in the state of Texas,
after getting caught in an insider trading stock scam he began to hide his wealth.
He did this in secret corporations and in his wife's name.  The Standley name is old-
time Cleburne, with a park in the town named after Jack's father.  One of the
lawyers in this story lives in a mansion owned by Jack, while one of his surviving
children lives homeless because of the way they have cheated him out of their
Estate, which happened to include three houses, land, oil and gas leases and much
more.  This has a twist of "Dallas" gone crazy in a small Texas town.

Jack died under questionable circumstances, with a Will showing up written just days
before his death, which is no doubt forged.  A year after his death a Texas company
is still being run under his name...one day when visiting his mother's grave Benford
notices that Jack's grave has his date of birth, but no date of death.  Later looking
over some  documents from the hospital he sees that the height on the death cer-
tificate is 5 inches difference on Jack's height than on his drivers license.  As he
walks out of the Secretary of State building in Austin,  where he has discovered that
this corporation is still being run in his name over a year after his death...a cold
thought that the man is still alive burns through his mind.

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they'd rather keep their clients in the dark.

Fear on top of fear increases as Benford and his wife Tammy notice that these men
are defrauding them and stealing hundreds of thousands of dollars from them.  They
begin to fear for their lives. The story is true.  It not only happened, but is still hap-
pening to Benford and his family.  He is in hiding and running for his life, knowing
that these men know what he has on them and knowing that they are the type of
men in a "good-ole-boy" network that allows them to act in conspiracy against
another individual with no one to answer has him and his family in constant fear.

Lawyers in Fort Worth and Austin, Texas tell them that the case is too large and with
too many twists and turns for them to take, and besides it is common knowledge that
Johnson County is one of the most corrupt counties in the State of Texas.  They take
their case to the State Bar of Texas and they begin to learn that this organization
does more to cover-up the malpractice of lawyers than to do anything about it. A
friend of Benford, Thom Steinbeck who is the son of the great author John Steinbeck
tells Benford, "The State Bar is like the wolf watching over the hen house...it is
lawyers watching over lawyers.  They are not going to do anything."  The story
shows how the State Bar of Texas covers up the mal practice of their lawyers.

Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. The first
lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started
putting them on. The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll
never be able to outrun that bear!"

"I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to  outrun you."

With their trumped up warrant Standley ended up in jail in Johnson City, Texas, for a
night.  With luck on his side he was able to bail himself out before the Good-ole-boys
could have him picked up and brought back to Cleburne.   With a stroke of luck and
the fact that he was working with Willie Nelson on some projects the local bails
bondsman gave him a break and helped him get out Sunday morning the next day.
At this point Benford went mad with fear and went into hiding and packed his family
and went on the run and moved them to Los Angeles, California.  For months and
months Benford and his wife and two kids lived in cheap low-rent seedy, whore hang
out hotels along the Sunset Strip in Hollywood.  A few friends would open their doors
and let the family of four stay in a room or use the rest room to clean and get out of
the streets.  Locked in the fear caused by the Gang in Montana and the Good-ole-
Boys in Texas, Benford and his wife were going deeper into depression, fear and
insanity as each day passed.

After the jail incident, Benford and his family have to go into hiding,  while he tries
to make a living to keep his two children safe and fed and while he tries to unravels
this horrible fate that his life falls victim to.  He has to exist taking buses around the
city of Los Angeles,  which can be a death sentence for anybody standing on the Los
Angeles Street corners to catch a bus in downtown Los Angeles late at night.   After
awhile Benford's wife leaves him taking the children and he fall deep into depression
and goes deeper into a nervous breakdown.  He is diagnosed with Post Traumatic
Stress Syndrome, he is living in the streets of LA, staying in cars, fools and couches
of friends and garages while he writes this book and fight the gangsters that have
brought him to ruin.  Many months pass and his wife will not let him see his children
and his live continues to swirl downward while the gangsters that stole from him live
the high-life.